Hell Week: Bloody "If"s

Damm... After all week getting ready for the big night. There we went, there we where.
As son as we enter, the bathroom. There was the problem. She left sooner than I , and we didn't see eachother. I was waiting for her almost an hour but she was already enjoining the concert. IF, we had got out at the same time, we would be enjoining the concert at the same time.
If, i were there, I would hold her bag, and she wouldn't:
- lost her cel
- meet that boy

Well, yes, I understand that i'm her friend only, but yes, somewhere inside me, is that little secret wish that I would like to kiss her, and hugh her, and love her as a little more than a friend.

Well, what tha f*ck, it's not the end of the world.

The good things are:

- She had a great time
- I spent some time with her
- Prodigy was awesome

The bad things were:

- I saw her smoking (she was the one that make me stop smoking)
- I start smoking again
- She lost her celphone (the one she uses to get wired)

Well then. I wrote this as a release-valve, to get all those bad feelings about it out, i don't need them.

As about what a feel for her.... i love her. I didn't tell her anything because i think that is not the right time for it.
I understand wy she kissed that guy in the party. It was the only thing missing to made her night. No wrong in that. Yeah, it sounds pathetic. Well, who cares, i have my own way to do things. And is the way that makes things remain in time.

A few years from now, I'll still be her friend, and i'll be there for her, as allways, to help her.

Yeah, may be we are not for eachone, maybe we are. But as always, there is a gap between what we are and what we like. in time this gap could dissapear. By now it is getting a little smaller, but there is it.

Ahh, I feel better now. i can concentrate on all the stuff I had to do this week:

- prepare for the last test of automation (programable ladder control, Control systems)
- Study for information and finnancial control
- Work on Bioclimatic architecture homework
- Study las unit of turbomachinery.

I need to set my mind to the concept: "Hard work and sacrifice"
there are so many distractions arround. Well, all will go smooth I hope.

Deal later.